Discussing Senior Living Options with Your Parents: A Family Guide

Many children struggle to discuss senior living options with their parents. They know it will be a difficult conversation, but one they must have. Knowing how to approach this topic will benefit them greatly as the conversation progresses.

Prepping for This Conversation

Many families look for help from Avista Senior Living when they need to have this conversation with their parents. During this conversation, they should list their concerns regarding their aging parents. This list may include safety concerns or health issues. All family members should be asked to contribute to this list before sharing it with the parents.

Family members should also educate themselves about the senior living options in their area. When learning about these options, they must know what care their parents require. Many people find it helpful to talk to their parents’ medical team because they may not understand the seriousness of their parents’ issues.

In addition, medical professionals can share the importance of having a safe and secure living environment for seniors. They will talk with the family about how the environment affects every aspect of the senior’s life. Families often don’t fully understand the link between the environment and everyday aspects of their loved ones’ lives.

This information is valuable when discussing successful aging with the parents. What the family should refrain from doing during the process is making decisions for the senior. Older adults need to have input as they will be making the transition to a new living arrangement. Doing so will be much easier if they have input into where they go.

Having This Conversation

Family members should come together and discuss senior living options before these options are needed. Doing so early allows them to plan with less pressure and investigate the available options thoroughly. They won’t be forced to make a quick decision due to a health issue or other problem arising. Conversations should be face-to-face rather than over the phone or through text or email. In addition, they should occur when all parties are well-rested and relaxed and can talk without interruption.

Everyone should be open to the opinions and concerns of others. The family needs to listen to the seniors when they express any objections. One thing families cannot do during this conversation is minimize the senior’s feelings. They deserve to be acknowledged, and seniors’ questions should be answered. Being willing to listen and answer questions lets the seniors know their wishes are respected and considered.

Family members should be empathetic rather than sympathetic. Seniors don’t want to feel pity from their loved ones. All discussions should take place in a calm and kind voice, and family members should show that they are trying to understand any fears, concerns, and frustration the senior feels.

Accepting a move to senior living is inevitable, but the senior may struggle. The family should not rush the process but continue encouraging this move.  Once the topic has been approached, family members may set a time for them to talk again. While waiting for the following conversation, they may wish to take the senior to one or more senior living communities so they get a better understanding of what these communities are like. This process should never be forced as a senior will resist.

Never overload the senior with information. Start by sharing essential information about senior living options. Give them time to absorb this information before approaching the topic again. Overloading the seniors will make them resist the move. They will become defensive and quickly enter the conversation, making bringing up the topic again more difficult. Families must move slowly and help the seniors realize this transition will benefit them. When they do so, the entire process will be easier.

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