Love is one of the things that makes life worth living – but let’s be honest, it often falls into the background when life gets busy. (And when is life not busy?)
Between work, errands, kids, and Netflix binges, couples can often fall into routines that feel… a little too predictable and not particularly sexy.
The good news is that you don’t need fancy getaways or expensive candlelit restaurants to bring the romance back. There are several ways to reignite that magical connection you once had – and still do –, you just need to rekindle it with your beloved.
Here are just 8 of our favorites.
- Carve Out “Us Time” – and Actually Protect It
Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a constant commitment. It should be a priority. So instead of always complaining about not having enough time together, put your foot down and schedule protected “us time.”
This “us time” can be anything, really, as long as you focus on each other. A nightly chat over dinner with no phones. A Sunday morning stroll. Dedicated nights for intimacy. What matters is that you actually follow through. Whenever you do this, you tell your partner: you matter.
- Get Curious About Each Other Again
As well as you might know your partner, there are probably things you still don’t know about them. Humans, after all, aren’t just infinitely complex; they’re also constantly changing. Try to go through “deep talk” prompts or “questions couples should answer” lists (there are tons of them online!)
From deeper questions like “What’s a dream you’re still chasing?” to funny questions like “What ridiculous name would you rename me if you had to?”, there can be a ton of fun and flirting to be had. It’s like dating your partner again, but without the awkward first-date jitters.
- Play Like Kids Again
Pull out a board game. Go to the arcade. Dust off that old PlayStation. Playfulness is the antidote to stress, and whenever you play, you stop thinking about chores and to-do lists.
Teasing, laughing, maybe a little competitive banter. What’s not to love?
- Cook (or Bake) Something New Together
Now this is for the couples who get takeout for dinner or little too often, or simply make the fastest, most low-effort meals possible (I’m talking from experience). I’m sure you miss spending quality time with your partner and home-cooked meals.
Search up a recipe you’ve never tasted (or even heard of) before online and tackle it together. Sure, it might get messy. And yes, you might not cook it well, and the food might turn out to be kinda so-so. But that’s part of the fun.
- Have a Virtual Adventure
Now, Netflix binges are fun in their own right. But the internet has so much more to offer. Stream concerts, take online classes, explore virtual museums – nowadays, you don’t have to leave home to explore the world.
Dann and I have done “online trips” to France before: wearing cute Parisian-themed pyjamas, playing Edith Piaf while we cooked boeuf bourguinon, watching French movies while eating éclairs, and visiting the Louvre’s Petite Galerie online – it’s surprisingly entrancing on a big TV screen.
Dim the lights, grab snacks, or even dress up. Make it feel like a real event. Pro-tip: You can use a VPN to access geo-locked content from whichever region you’re “traveling” to. Read more here on how to do just that.
- Bring Back the “Old Us”
If you’ve been together for a long, long time, there are probably things you haven’t done in a long time. Dancing in the kitchen, leaving handwritten notes, making each other playlists – whatever you’ve done before but no longer do, do them again.
Nostalgia is a powerful drug, and it’s one of the best ways to make old love feel new again.
- Try Something Neither of You Has Done Before
Another powerful drug that starts with an N? Novelty. New experiences spark excitement and help each of you feel closer. This weekend, try something you haven’t done before. Go blindfold painting, do a scavenger hunt, go rock climbing, or try writing a funny story together.
Maybe you’ll fail, but that’s okay. You’ll laugh and bond, and that’s what counts.
- Show More Physical Affection
Skin-to-skin contact literally releases dopamine and serotonin in our brains, the hormones that foster our sense of connection with one another. Rub their shoulders just because. Or give them a massage. Or commit to hugging them for one minute every day before leaving work.
You know what, many older couples I see nowadays don’t even hold hands anymore. That’s a travesty! But one that’s easily fixed, fortunately.
When couples start feeling distant, it’s rarely because they fell out of love. Usually, it’s because it got drowned out in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Luckily, reviving that spark isn’t complicated – though it does take commitment and creativity. You have to make an active choice to rekindle the romance.
Research shows that the quality of your partnership is the biggest predictor of happiness. In that sense, it’s literally the most important thing in life – so treat it as such.