Life is a journey. The longer the journey, the more help they will need when the end is near. Elderly end-of-life care is emotionally and physically challenging, not to mention the logistical headache. But one thing can make life a bit easier. The one thing that will make the end a bit smoother is called the family care circle.
When we say “family care circle,” we mean the division of responsibilities. It means that each family member is doing their part in making sure your elderly loved ones get the best care and support during their final years.
But here’s the catch. The family care circle isn’t meant to be a one-person job. It’s meant to be a group effort. A way to make sure that each member of your family has a hand in making this easier on your elderly relatives. So how do you build your family care circle for the elderly? And how do you maintain it? Let’s find out.
The Role of Family in Elderly Care
If you’ve ever had to take care of an elderly person, you know just how much responsibility it is. It’s not just an added burden on your shoulders; it’s emotionally and physically draining.
One person cannot do it all. That’s where the family care circle comes in. It’s meant to ensure that everyone plays a part in taking care of your elderly family member.
The responsibilities for elderly care aren’t just about physical care. Although that is a big part of it, because they need assistance with mobility and physical activities like bathing, eating, and taking their medicines, they also need help in other ways too.
Elderly people are lonely and scared. They also like to reminisce and talk about their life and enjoy the company of someone else. When the elderly care circle is working, everyone can chip in with their own means to give everyone else a break.
Shared Responsibilities: Breaking It Down
Alright, now you know why a family care circle is important. But how do you do it? How do you break it all down to make sure that everyone can pitch in with taking care of your elderly relative?
1. Physical Care and Personal Assistance
This is the most obvious one. If your elderly relative can no longer take care of themselves, they will need help from someone in the family. Whether it’s a shower, wearing clean clothes, or even just brushing their teeth and combing their hair, they will need help.
The easiest way to break this down is to have each member of the family take charge of each task. One can be responsible for helping them get up in the morning, while another helps them in the evening. One can cook for them or at least make sure they’re fed, and another can help with getting their groceries.
The important thing is to rotate responsibilities so no one person is stuck with the same thing each day. Communicate with both your elderly relative and the other members of the family to see how everyone can best divide the labor.
2. Emotional Support
We sometimes forget that our elderly relatives need emotional support as well. It’s true that they’ve been around a while. They’ve seen most of their friends and loved ones pass away. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t need someone to listen to them.
The family care circle is a perfect opportunity for this. A simple phone call to your elderly relative or, even better, a visit to their home to have a chat or just sit with them can be a godsend to them.
Remember that elderly people like to talk about the past. They like to reminisce and talk about the “good old days” when they could still do things on their own. So let them. Be the family member who listens to them and lets them talk about what they want. To them, you’ll be the best.
3. Financial and Legal Assistance
We don’t like to think about it, but eventually, someone will have to deal with the finances of the elderly. It’s part of end-of-life care and means looking into all of their property and the legal and financial details that go with it.
Ideally, there should be a plan in place way before this stage is reached. But if not, then this is the time to start. Someone needs to take the lead in making sure that all the bills are paid, investments are taken care of, and taxes are filed when needed.
The rest can chip in by doing paperwork and such. Keep copies of all the essential documents in a safe place where they can easily be found by the people who need them.
And when it comes to legal matters, experienced experts can make probate services accessible, so your family doesn’t have to figure out the ins and outs of a loved one’s death. There’s no shame in asking for help in these matters, as it’s all part of the circle of family care.
4. Planning for the Future
End-of-life care doesn’t end with taking care of your elderly relative. It also means planning for the future. This involves all of the things that need to be done when they are no longer here and making plans for them.
For some families, it can mean creating an advanced care plan or making funeral arrangements. It’s not the easiest thing to talk about, but it has to be done. It’s best if everyone is on the same page about the details.
Open and honest communication about what everyone wants and when is essential. It’s best if each member of the family takes care of their own area of responsibilities.
Balancing the Load: How to Prevent Burnout
We all know that burnout is real. It can happen in even the best family care circle. It’s so easy to forget to take care of yourself when you’re taking care of someone else. This is why balance is so important.
Family members need to check in with each other regularly to see how things are going. Are there any tasks that one person is having trouble with? Are there any emotional needs that are not being met? We all want to do what’s best for the elderly in our care, but we can only do so much. It’s up to the other members of the family care circle to see where they can help.
Try having regular family meetings to discuss the state of things. This is a good time to reassign roles and responsibilities if needed. Maybe one person is too stressed and needs more time off. Or maybe someone else can take over for a while.
Taking turns, communicating clearly, and remembering to offer emotional support to the caregiver is just as vital as supporting the well-being of the older people in your family.
Creating a Family Care Circle That Works
It doesn’t happen overnight. Building a strong family care circle takes time, effort, and love. Here are a few tips that will help you get started.
1. Establish Roles and Responsibilities
The first step is to figure out who’s going to do what. Breaking up the responsibilities is a good way to ensure everyone has something that they can contribute. Who will be in charge of physical care? Who will handle all the finances and legal stuff? Who’s going to be there to provide emotional support?
Decide on boundaries and expectations for each person in the circle. This way, everyone will know exactly what they’re supposed to be doing and when they’re supposed to be doing it.
2. Communicate Openly
Something doesn’t work? Then speak up! The best way to avoid arguments and misunderstandings is by communicating openly and honestly with each other. Every member of the family circle should feel comfortable enough to speak their minds and raise their concerns.
Regular family meetings are a good way to ensure everyone is on the same page. Use this time to check in with each other and see how things are going. You can also use this time to reassign roles and responsibilities if needed.
3. Incorporate Professional Help
You don’t have to leave every task for the family members to take care of. Professional help can also be integrated into the circle. A home health aide or social worker, for example, can help with medical care or daily needs.
Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help if it’s needed. In fact, it’s often a good idea to get professionals to help out with certain tasks so family members can focus on what they’re best at.
4. Be Patient and Understanding
Caring for an elderly person is no easy feat. There will be good days and bad days. But through it all, remember to be patient and understanding. Remember that everyone is doing their best, and everyone has their own way of dealing with stress.
Lean on each other for support when times get tough. And don’t forget to take care of yourselves, too.
Strengthening Bonds Through Shared Responsibility
In the end, the family care circle is all about love. Love, unity, and support. It’s all about coming together in a time of need and doing what is best for the elderly in your life. Whether that’s providing physical assistance or emotional support or managing their finances, each person has a role to play.
By taking care of each other and their elderly loved ones, you can create a system of care that will not only honor their life but also give them the dignity they deserve in their final years.
Moving forward, always remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s all about doing your best, when you can, with love and respect. And you might find that, in the process, your family bonds even stronger through the shared responsibility of taking care of the ones that raised you.